I woke up late for the airport this morning. Strangely, today's shoot was filled with endless laughter and obscene humor.

If only work could be this fun all the time. Considering that the shoot was that 'malaun'...this is good progress, cos I was seriously dreading work today.

I had dinner with Yazer last night and he brought me to some design exhibit so the start of my week was alright despite everyone else being busy or away. I haven't had time do much of self reflection, so I did appreciate my time on my journey home.

I realised that my recent episode opened up my mind to alot of things. I used to be one of the many who rely alot on peoples' judgements on others, and as much as I know it's wrong for me to trust in that alone, I just can't help it sometimes. I can't help knowing that there might be some truth (to a certain extent) when people say that 'oh you know so-and-so has such a bad habit of doing this-and-that', but somehow there has to be something else about that so-and-so that has not been asessed before.

Because at the end of the day, I feel that no matter how bad so-and-so might seem in any kind of light, there has to be something good about him/her that is worth our time mentioning. Just like what the lovely Anne Frank has said once in her book... "Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart."

I was previously taking a bad spot in a very sticky and painful situation, and I've had been greeted with accusations and condemning words which, personally, was very hard to swallow. It was harder cos it involved my loved ones.

But at the end of it all, I was more than desperate to let them know there is still some goodness left in me, and what I did was not out of malice and deceit, but truly out of honesty. It was all about how much, and how much longer, I can take that monotony.

So here, I shall start with myself. I will not allow myself to depend too much on other's judgements when it comes to disapproving others. It's about time I start being more compassionate for everyone in general.

Because I am so desperately seeking that compassion myself.